It seems to be that in times of high stress, I can no longer sleep. and it sucks. Adhd meds wear off as the day goes by, allowing my mind to jump from 1 topic to the next, and by the time I am ready for bed, they seem to race through my head at a ridiculous rate.
I have a great deal of work to do for my job right now and that is monopolizing my life... my thoughts... my time... It really makes it tough to relax, since I'm not the kind of person who can just shut down for the day. Xanax isn't even helping at this point... good grief.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
So, we always make the same "resolutions" every time the ball drops. This my New Year's resolution was not to make a resolution. Instead, I am resolving myself to "monthly resolutions". You see, I think making a change - and only one change - per year is just a little too daunting of a task. In order for it to count, it has to be worthy of a once-a-year event. Maybe the average person can take on such a task, but not someone like me. A monumental task is just too much for my Adhd riddled brain. How can I accomplish a task that is virtually equivalent to Christmas when I couldn't even get my shopping done until Christmas Eve?
Now, a monthly accomplishment may work better for me. In January, my pledge is to take my neighbor up on her "handmade Christmas throughout the year" idea and ACTUALLY get together with her twice this month. We are going to start making gifts for our family that are handmade and from the heart. Had that been my New Year's resolution, I would have had to say "I'm making a handmade Christmas for 2009". Then, on Christmas Eve, I would be slaving away, trying to make something - ANYTHING - for my loved ones. It just won't work.
I also have to make an amendment to the whole idea of "resolutions" and make two for the month of January. We are facing a reduction in our income, and so, Resolution #2 is: I will not waste food. It's really unbelievable how many areas of ones life ADHD can really affect. It's not uncommon for me to throw away an entire refrigerator worth of food once a month, or once every other month. I struggle with the concept of buying food for the week, because when Weds. comes around, I don't feel like making what I thought I wanted to on Sunday. Inevitably, I run to the grocery store to buy something else, and the pot roast I was supposed to make turns green... with envy of course. I guess I was inspired by a book I found in the grocery store... you know why I found that book? Because I forgot what ingredients were in chicken fricassee and I was hoping to find it in any random cookbook I could find. My brain not only costs me time, but money as well. I [impulse] bought Cheap. Fast. Good! and started reading it when I got home... as my chicken fricassee cooked slowly on my stove. (YES! I actually read cookbooks.) Not a bad read... and it's mostly responsibly for my new outlook on my kitchen.